of Eid and mehendi

Yesterday was one of the funnest days I've had in Bangladesh so far--definitely top ten! Our invite to an Eid dinner turned out to be for Sunday afternoon so around one o'clock Elle, Brittni, Papri, and I climbed into the back of the Hilux for another adventure. The "grown-ups" were in the cab because I guess they figure us "youngins" can handle getting in and out of the back haha. Supposedly Panchbibi is only 10km from the orphanage but it takes almost 40min to get there--then again the roads here make any speeding near to impossible. [I'm sure that would get people to slow down on the highway back home--just put massive pot-holes in the road and tear up whole sections of it. I'm on to something here... lol]

When we arrived, we walked through a maze of small corridors until we got to the man's home. I'm not quite sure how we/the orphanage knows this man, but he seems to like us and even invited the Waid's last year for Eid. [Speaking of Eid, I'm not sure how I feel about this, but I didn't see a single dead cow. Not saying it would have been a pleasant experience, but it would definitely be something to check of my Bangladesh To-Do list.] He ushered us into his house through a strong iron gate at the front. We took off our sandals and sat in his sitting room. Well, I'm not sure if it was a sitting room because it also had a big double bed in it... But we sat there nonetheless.

Apparently we had gotten there a little early because they didn't have all the food ready. Instead, they brought us apples and oranges, bottled water, and a weird cornflakes mixed with peas snack. And the food kept coming. Next the brought out little pieces of chicken, deepfried potato wedges, and deepfried cauliflower. They also brought out some dessert items: chocolate- and vanilla-y looking TimBits (which were practically made of pure gritty sugar) and a cheesecake replica (ugh so slimy--but I said, "mmmm sooo good!" nonetheless lol).

The whole time, the man sat with us, bringing in different family members every so often to introduce to us. We met his sons and daughter, sister-in-law, mother-in-law, and wife. By the way, another weird thing in Bangladesh is that when you are invited over for a meal at someone's house, they don't eat with you. They just watch you eat, encouraging you to eat more and more. That's what the old grandma was doing the whole time. "Cowl, cowl, cowl. Tume cowl." That means eat eat eat, you eat haha. And then the man's older son brought in two of his friends and while we were eating, they took pictures of us white girls on their camera phones.

A definite highlight came when I noticed the henna (called mehendi here) on the sister-in-law's hand. In the best Bangla I could manage, I told her how pretty I thought it was. When she offered to do it to my hand, I said no because I didn't think it would go over well at the orphanage since mehendi is a Muslim and Hindi practice. But when Mrs. Waid saw my hesitation she told me to go ahead with it anyways. She told me to just tell everyone I had been at a party and not to make a big deal about it. She knew that I really wanted to have an authentic henna tattoo at some point :) So Polly grabbed a tube of henna and did a random decoration on my hand. I don't care--it looks beautiful to me! It's so much cooler than getting a henna tattoo at the Lynden fair by a blonde Caucasian woman! lol

We were all so full from all the food given to us in the sitting room so we were astonished when we were led into the dining room where more food was sitting on tables. They gave us full plates of rice palau (the most amazing rice you will ever have in your lifetime--it's THAT good), cut vegetables, and a hardboiled egg. I love being in Bangladesh with Elle because we seem to compliment each other really well--aka we both hate mushrooms and eggs. We both pretty much cleared our plates, but when they saw we were getting "low" on food, the man of the house came by with another couple spoonfuls of rice. As we protested, patting our bulging bellies and saying "nah nah," he dished us more saying "cowl, cowl." So much food... And when Polly came by to see if we need refills on anything, she saw that we didn't eat our eggs. She stabbed the egg with a fork and lifted it to Elle's mouth as if she was going to shove it down her throat. I laughed so hard and grabbed my camera. She laughed as I took a picture and when she found out I wasn't going to eat my egg either, she thrust the fork under my nose... Ick. lol but we laughed and got some good pictures of it all :)

After they finally let us stop eating, we went back to the sitting room, well, to sit. As we were about to leave, the boys wanted a picture with us white girls. We obliged but didn't know they wanted one boy at a time with us. So three pictures later, then Polly jumped in the picture, then the daughter, then the women in the family, then the whole family. It was a regular photo shoot :) But all in all, they were so accommodating to us, generous as can be, and I would definitely go back again--even if just to have more rice palau!

On the way back to the orphanage, we saw some booths set up by the place we walk to to pay our cell phone bills. When we asked Papri what it was, she said they were having a fair--not for Eid, but I guess the Hindu's wanted to join in on the festivities and have a party like the Muslims. We didn't have any money with us so after grabbing some from our room, Papri, Elle and I headed back to the fair. Like I said, I usually get henna done at the fair, so this was a nice coincidence :D

This fair was really nothing more than booths set up in a square with the road as one side. The booths sold cute hairclips, costume jewelry, toys, and other cheap knick-knacks. I bought hair clips and Elle bought a big ring and then we headed into the middle to see the food being sold. Don't worry, I definitely didn't try any--but it kinda looked like fair food. Sugary, fatty, and twisted into a cool shape. We also saw the balloon man on his mat. I bought a big blue balloon that looks like an apple and when you shake it, the sand inside makes a cool noise! Elle bought a balloon on the end of a bamboo stick and after you blow it up a little, the air exits through the bamboo making a sound like a duck. It's pretty annoying but in a strange way, still really awesome! So needless to say, pretty good day :)

Tis all for now, and if you read this post before it was done, I am sorry for that. I can't be online and talk on the phone at the same time. Mom was calling me and she def takes priority :) lol

ami tomake bhalobashi :)

of patience and Indescribable

It's funny how some things come together over here. Thursday night was my night for mother's worship and yes, I left it to the last minute. I'm a procrastinator... always have been--hopefully won't always be! So I began to think about things that have been frustrating me hoping to gain some worship thought from them and such when I was reminded what happened when I was teaching grade one English that day. Some of the smarter kids finish their assignments early and then just goof off and distract the others. And Jehanna, the class clown, had to calm them down. Sad day for everyone... Melanie didn't like this so much and she ran over and ran the glue stick up my arm. Good times were had by all :P

Patience. Ah patience. I could talk about patience. Even though I usually don't have patience, I could tell how patience should work and maybe that could help to cement it into my own life. Having a translator proves to be challenging sometimes, but when you are flying by the seat of your pants [kinda like how my speeches in high school were..] having someone translate allows you time to plan your next sentence or two. In the end, I think my point got across and I hope someone gained something by my scattered ideas on life.

Well the story's not over... The next day was art! Yay! Or not... That hour and a half was a serious test of my self control. To celebrate [American] Thanksgiving, we had the kids cut the paper they had attacked with watercolours a couple weeks prior into "feathers." The "feathers" were then stapled to strips of construction paper and, ta-dah, you have authentic Native American head-dresses. This seemed easy enough but we didn't take into account that there was only one stapler. "Jehanna Teacher, I'm finished" rang out from all parts of the classroom as the poor stapler clicked through feathers after feathers. I was going as fast as the stapler would allow me! Yet, these children had no concept of 'wait your turn'. After getting frustrated by all the pulls on my arms and feathers held in my face, I began to make a list on the board in order of how I would get to each kid. That seemed to work but then some started to ask anyways, in some hopes of moving up on the list. In addition, I had made a couple of the head pieces too big (we're talking by all of half an inch..) so "Jehanna Teacher, boro boro," which means big, arose above the noise. Jehanna Teacher was quickly losing patience.

But somehow we all got through it alive. Looking back I see how I got frustrated but also looking back makes me realize that kids are kids. They are impatient and excited and noisy and rambunctious. They were excited for their projects to be finished. They were getting bored waiting and wanted to play. They are just kids. But if I heard "Jehanna Teacher" again that day I probably would have killed someone lol. Don't worry, things are calm now :)

Sabbath was brought in with another beautiful sunset. We didn't do another rooftop vespers but we had a good evening nonetheless. This morning was another morning of Sabbath school, which was actually pretty fun. I taught the kids about the sea lion and read a Bible story about Abraham (you may wonder how the two go hand in hand, but with me teaching Sabbath school everything eventually fits together lol). We were then off to church for a sermon by one of our visitors here, then back up to the room. Elle and I were exhausted for some reason so we both fell asleep for about an hour before dinner. It was thoroughly splendid :)

After dinner, we headed back to the roof. This time we were armed with blankets, iPods, and some good books. I spent part of my time resting in the sun, reading The Screwtape Letters, and another part with my Bible. Finally the sun began to set in the distance. I wrapped my blanket around me and soaked up the scene before me. I watched as the sun turned from a bright white ball into a stunning red ball. I felt compelled to open my Bible and read the first chapter of Genesis, to experience this sunset as God had experienced the first sunset during creation.

Can you imagine what God would do with a ball of Play-Doh? That's just one of my thoughts as I gazed at the beautiful landscape before me as if it had been perfectly painted on a canvas. Through these thoughts I had Indescribable by Chris Tomlin playing on a loop in my head, especially the part, "Who imagined the sun and gives source to its light? Then conceals it to bring us the coolness of night." I watched the sun go from blood red to a half circle, half circle to a red thumbnail, then that thumbnail turn into just a faint speck above the horizon. As the speck melted away into the pink haze around it, I pulled out my iPod to hear Indescribable again, to meditate on what the words really mean to me and to imagine the creation story.

I felt I could see God saying, "Guys, you've got to see what I just made--it's so cool!" even though the Bible just says, "God saw that this was good." I guess in my head, I now see God like my art students--so excited to show off the what He had just created and wanting so badly to share this with us.

And then I rushed back downstairs to my computer to share my experience with whoever happens to be reading my blog :) I hope you receive a blessing on this Sabbath day!
ami tomake bhalobashi

of bus rides and Handicrafts

Yesterday Elliot and I crossed the final frontier in Bangladesh. Well, in terms of transportation that is... I was in the middle of teaching a story about Dick, Jane, Sally, and Spot when Banni busted in the classroom door announcing that we were leaving for Panchbibi right then. The Waid's had to go there to settle some matters with the villagers and said we should meet them there. Because there was no room though, we had to take a bus.

Oh my, the buses in Bangladesh. Ugh, to say the least lol. Brittni, Elliot, Banni, Pollimul (I can't remember his name exactly but he works at Bangladesh on maintaintance), and I travelled to Hili on a rickshaw van to meet the next bus to Panchbibi. These buses are so incredibly beat up, travel at breakneck speeds, and would make Rosa Parks roll over in her grave. Well, we don't fight race and colour so much in this country--it's gender that is so discriminated against. The women have to ride in the very front of the bus and only in the two rows on the right behind the bus driver (they drive on the other side of the road here) no matter how many men are on. In their defense though, a lot more men ride the bus than women so technically they need more room. But I didn't like riding so close to the windshield, knowing that if an accident happens Jehanna goes bye-bye.

On the way to Panchbibi I was squished between Banni and a fairly large Bengali women whose teeth had been rotted out by beetlenut. I don't know if the bus driver was just an exceptional driver or he wanted to drive better because of the three white girls on board, but he actually slowed down when there were villagers and rickshaws on the side of the road. Most buses just blow past these people with no regard for their safety. We arrived to Panchbibi safely in just over 35min for the bargain price of 10tk (about 7cents).

The Waid's weren't done yet with their meeting so the five of us walked around the market, shopping for Christmas presents and souvenirs in general. We found some really good deals and beautiful fabrics for our moms and sisters (yes that includes you Mom and Eden lol). After we were shopped out, we got a hold of Mrs.Waid and she said that the villagers had arrived 2hours late so they were just starting the meeting. So we headed back to the orphanage. Yes, back on the bus again. The second one wasn't as "nice" as the first one, mostly because there was a big hole in the floor next to the driver that was blowing in hot air from the engine right at me. Ick.

As we were driving back to Hili, we passed a bus pulled off to the side of the road. We still don't know exactly what happened but we heard wailing and people were running towards the bus frantically. Banni said a child got hit by the bus probably... So sad how quickly things can change for you here in Bangladesh...

We've been busy this week (apologies to people trying to get a hold of me) helping Mrs. Waid organize things in the Handicrafts room. Bangla Hope employs women to make cross-stitched cards and bookmarks, and embroider tea-towels, pillow cases, and table cloths. The women actually do a fantastic job, but Mrs. Waid has a hard time selling them in the States because this kind of thing isn't so popular anymore. Hence, there is a quite a back-up here in Bangladesh. There are about 70different bookmarks and over 160 cards sitting in that room, scattered between shelves, drawers, and cupboards. It was a mess. As if to make it worse, they were having troubles with the numbers on all the products... So we've had to take EVERYTHING out, one product line at a time, sort them out, decide which ones to keep and which ones to retire, then renumber them and put them away. It's a crazy job. Elliot's been the real trooper, down there all day, every day since Sunday, but I've been helping out a lot too and we were just starting bookmarks this afternoon. I know it will be a big help to Mrs. Waid when it's all done but right now I really want to just walk away and never look back lol.

Tomorrow is American Thanksgiving so I thought I'd say a couple things that I'm thankful for. I'm thankful for Daphne (my wonderful little netbook), my parents and close family, my boyfriend, Shati's cooking, nightly kisses from 16 young boys, Joshua Radin and Ingrid Michaelson, and the contact I'm able to make with people back home, however brief, that shows I haven't been completely forgotten. I hope you find things to be thankful for, some kind of "paper-bag happiness", and get some good food in along the way :)

The Hindu's have their own special holiday starting on Friday. I would call it Black Friday but they call it Eid. For the most part, they slaughter a ton of cows and then poor people walk around from house to house with bags, collecting pieces of meat. It's like Halloween, except there is blood flowing down the streets. I hear in Dhaka all the streets are painted red and a stench until anything you or I have ever had the opportunity to smell arises as the inedible parts of the cow are thrown onto the sidewalk with the rest of the garbage. Apparently here it's not so bad but I still don't like the idea of walking down a street covered in blood... We were invited by a man from town to come to his house Sabbath afternoon to share in his Eid feast. I think we are going but I'm not sure what we will all eat considering the Waid's are vegetarian and I have sworn off meat for the time being. We'll see though... I definitely signed up for an experience by coming to Bangladesh.!

anyways, I'm going to sign off for now, Handicrafts has worn me out...
Happy [American] Thanksgiving!
ami tomake bhalobashi

of Kirstin Wolcott and rooftop vespers

Wow, I can't believe it's been so long since I last posted something here. I'm so sorry to those of you who check this more regularly than I write, but since the last post I've been so busy! I was going to post last night but opted for journaling instead :) So here we are again--Sabbath afternoon blogs..

Wednesday I began my morning at 4am by jumping in the Hilux and heading for Dhaka. Litton came along with us because he had to get things figured out with the NGO people. Riding in the truck was SO much nicer with only two people in the back. I was actually able to stretch out my long legs a little instead of being cramped with three people in the backseat. We headed straight for the Dental Clinic in Uttara, stopping only once for diesel. The closer we got to Dhaka, the more the sooty air began to fill my lungs.. Ick. I hate Dhaka air.

First things first. I needed more passport pictures because my extras were used for my SIM card contract. Simson took me down the road to get some taken but they wouldn't be ready until noon so we headed back to the clinic for a filling brunch of rice, dhal, and bananas. I love dhal so much. While Litton and I were eating, Simson went to pick up the pictures and then we all headed to the Indian embassy to get me a visa. We got the embassy at about 12:30 and for some reason they were "closed" and told us to come back tomorrow at 11am. Ugh. Why did we start the day so early then?

I had mentioned to Simson and Litton that I was hoping to find more seloar kamees fabric somewhere along the way because I had bought two cheap ones and they were currently proving how cheap they were. They took me to a big street market that had all kinds of fabric for clothes, bed sheets, and towels. It was a bit of a search to find separate fabric for my new outfit but we eventually found some. I know Simson and Litton are Bengali but sometimes you just need a woman's opinion when it comes to clothes. Luckily, white skin draws a crowd so I turned a woman standing on my left, pointed between the two fabrics, and said "Bhalo?" She shook her head no and found a fabric that was more complimentary to the fabric I liked. She helped me find a good quality fabric and even told Litton how much it should cost so I didn't get ripped off. In the end I only paid 165tk, which is freaking amazing, but mostly I was just amazed with how friendly this stranger was :)

After buying the fabric, Litton and Simson took me to a restaurant called Dhansiri. Since it is three floors up, you almost forget the craziness below. We had the Bengali version of chow mein (it's made with spaghetti noodles lol) and some rice with dhal. It was a great meal. At the end, they brought a dish full of cardamom, dried coconut, and rock sugar crystals... Oh my goodness. Best end of dinner dessert ever! It supposedly cleanses the palate but I would eat it just for fun haha.

The next day was busy with a touch of crazy. We headed out early but even the 10ish km drive to embassy took almost an hour. Again, Dhaka traffic is nuts. The guard at the gate to the embassy said we were too early so we headed over to the market to buy supplies for Shati. Gulshen 1 market is where you can find Kellogg's cornflakes, Heinz ketchup, Orbit gum, Twix chocolate, even Knorr instant soup mixes. Random I know but somehow it's comforting to see familiar brands. It seems to lessen the distance between here and home. Gulshen 1 market is the only place to find American food so we spent almost an hour tracking down dried spaghetti noodles, tubs of margarine, canned tomato puree, and strawberry jam among other things on a list from our beloved cook. You know, the necessaties!

We went back to the Indian embassy where the real adventure of the day began. The guys couldn't come in with me for some reason but Simson told me I should try to get a 6-month multiple entry visa if I could. So I walked in, nervous as to what to expect. When I got to the third floor, I found a room filled with chairs and white people sitting in those chairs! I love all my new brown friends, but again there is something comforting about seeing things from home--it's like seeing Mars bars in a store here. I didn't know where to go until I made eye contact with a Swiss guy as he discreetly pointed to a door in the corner. I made my way to a guard in the corner who alerted the meanest man in Bangladesh someone was waiting. I went in and sat down next to a British woman finishing her visa application. She needed exact change for her visa but couldn't find 30tk instead of the 50tk note in her hand. I had small enough change so I pulled it out and gave it to her. I mean, it's only 50cents.

When she was done, Mr.Grumpy turned to me and gruffly asked me what I was applying for, why I was applying, and what I was doing in Bangladesh. I did my best to calmly answer all his questions but I had a glimpse into what it would be like to be interrogated. I hadn't filled out a couple questions on my application because I wanted to ask before doing it. He rudely told me to photocopy my passport and Bengali visa, FINISH my application, and bring it back with 3130tk and I would get a one month, single entry visa. He had dismissed me in his mind already so when I shakily asked him for a longer visa he turned back to me with a look of, "Why are you still here?" He eventually "folded" and gave me a two month, double entry visa, which is better than nothing but I'll have to go back in February and get another one now... Dumb guy.

I photocopied it no problem but on my way back upstairs I realized the 30tk I had given the British woman had made me 20tk short for my own application.. Great. Ol' Grumpster's going to love this. I went back into his office and he promptly kicked me out for not having signed the bottom of the application. So as I sat in the waiting room outside, I found myself surrounded by the above-mentioned white people. I turned to the German couple behind me to ask if they had change for 100tk. They had a 5tk note, the two Swiss guys to my left had a 5tk note, and the three Brits in front of me had a 10tk note. Everyone pitched in to help. It was so cool :) I signed my application and headed back into the lion's den.

He accepted my application and told me when to come back to pick it up (Simson will pick it up later next week for me). He handed my money to a woman next to him to be processed. She was pretty much an apprentice Grumpster. She flicked through my money then told me I needed another 5tk. I knew I had counted right and when I told her so, she handed back to me a 5tk note with a rip in it. Big whoop! I had just scrounged together enough to get the exact amount and now I had to find another 5tk. Luckily, another Brit was sitting next to me and she helped me piece together the 5tk between our small coins. My goodness.. Just a tad bit ridiculous.

Anyways, the rest of day was spent in different markets and government buildings. I talked to my mom for a good 45min on the cell phone I borrowed from someone at the orphanage so that helped to pass some time. When we stopped at the accountant's office, they offered me a Virgin Red drink. After having a couple sips, it was clear this was just paint thinner with a slight cola taste masquerading as pop.. Ugh. That would strip hair off my legs I'm pretty sure!

Mrs.Waid's secretary from the States came over with her husband to help get things organized her at the orphanage. Between their arrival and the NGO stuff, this is why Litton and Jason had to come to Dhaka--getting my visa at the same time was just convenient haha. They flew in Thursday night and then we all headed back to the orphanage early Friday morning. I would have written my adventures then but I was just too tired! I was asking Litton on the way back how he slept the night before and he said he had been up because the mosquitoes were biting him. We both had mosquito nets over the beds in each of our rooms but when I asked him about it, he said "The mosquitoes ate my net so they could get to me!" lol I laughed at the thought :)

[Another funny story: Shati asked us to pick up some Kellogg's cornflakes for whatever reason while in Gulshen. As we were riding in the car later that day, I made a comment to Litton on how seeing American foods over here is kinda comforting. He nodded and asked me how the cornflakes were used. When I told him it was a breakfast cereal, he asked me how it was prepared. I told him you get a bowl, pour some cereal in, and then put milk on top. His next response was "And then? Do you cook it?" Well then you eat it. You see, in Bangladesh, rice and dhal is pretty much your standard breakfast meal. I know there are so many staple foods in Bangladesh that I don't even know of--so Litton, if you are reading this, I'm not laughing at you. It is just interesting that they don't have cereal over here :) ]

I should tell you that while I was in Dhaka I got a call from Michael, my boyfriend, but it came when I was walking down the busy street so I couldn't really hear what he was trying to tell me. It wasn't until I talked to my mom that I heard about what had happened in Yap. My school and its sister schools send out hundreds of student missionaries to all parts of the world every year. Just a few days ago, a girl from Southern Adventist University, who was working at the SDA school in Yap, was found dead. She had been brutally murdered while on her morning run. While I didn't know her, my heart broke for her family. I know how much my family misses me but on some level they are comforted knowing that I'm doing mission work over here and that God will be looking out for me. What her parents and brother must be feeling right now I can't imagine... I hope you all keep them in your prayers!

But what hit me almost harder than anything else is the sinking feeling I had when I realized that just because I'm an SM doesn't mean I'm invincible. You hear stories about tourists getting kidnapped, robbed, etc. but I'm an SM. I'm covered! Or so I thought. Bad things still happen over here and just because I'm doing mission work doesn't mean I'm exempt from it all. Ouch. That's such a hard realization. And then when I think about if something was to happen to Elliot, my best friend here, I can't imagine what Kristen Henderson must be feeling. She was best friend's with Kirstin, the girl who was killed. Ah. It puts a lump in my throat every time. I just have to trust that God has this under control and that He has to let Satan show his unthinkably evil side.

Last night vespers at the orphanage was in Bangla. Elle and I knew we would be bored through it all so we stole the rooftop key from Litton and journeyed up one more floor from our apartment with our Bibles in hand. We had never been on the roof before and the 360degree view is breathtaking. We sat, sometimes layed, on the concrete and gazed into the night sky with only the stars to block our view of heaven. Neither of us said anything until Elliot began to sing. We both sat there singing new and old songs, hymns and contemporary, until Elliot offered up a wonderful prayer. She brought to God the Wolcott family in their time of sorrow, the problems the orphanage is having with the NGO, our relationships back home, and many more things that have been weighing on our hearts. When she was done, she read Ecclesiastes 8 and 9. Ecclesiastes 8 was so perfect for the Yap incident and really put things in perspective for us (curious? Go look it up lol). We had a great discussion afterwards and were really able to debate spiritual things, challenging some views that didn't make sense. It was a great experience. I finished up with prayer, echoing some of the things Elliot had mentioned and added my own thoughts, especially the incredible beauty of the night sky, unadulterated by city lights. It was spectacular.

I hope again that each of you can find Sabbath rest and peace today. Please take time to offer prayers for the friends and family of Kirstin Wolcott. And above all, remember why Sabbath was created--to point you back to the Creator.

blessings to all,
ami tomake bhalobashi

of plumbing problems and bringing in the harvest

Funny story: I was chatting with Mom Sunday evening when I heard Shoprova our housecleaner come into the apartment. She sweeps and mops our floors, and cleans the bathroom every couple days (yes yes I know we are ridiculously spoiled lol). A couple minutes later I heard a loud shout coming from the bathroom. Elliot runs to see what is wrong and a second later comes back to say "Jehanna, you've got to see this!" I follow her into the bathroom only to see poor Shoprova standing soaked in the shower, faucet on the floor, and gallons of water gushing out of the wall. All three of us were pretty much dying laughing. Shoprova doesn't speak English so she said "Banni, Banni!" Elliot ran and got Banni while I pretty much kept laughing and laughing. Banni also laughed when she saw the situation, but then ran to get Obiram (the campus maintainance man) to help out. No joke, the first thing he does when he gets up here: puts his hand over the hole. haha well the water stopped gushing--no idea where else it went but it stopped. I haven't heard any complaints of water damage from Jason in the apartment below! I just thought it was so so so funny and frankly typical of Bangladesh :)

Last night we were told the rice needed to be harvested, probably starting around 7am. We definitely didn't get there at 7am but when we did... oh wow. Look out! haha It was actually pretty fun. Almost the whole campus came out to help harvest. Even the kindergarten and grade one class were there (school was canceled on account of rice lol). Brittni accidentally sliced her hand in the beginning so she couldn't help much but Elle and I were in there like a dirty shirt! I wasn't going as fast as her (dang that woman can move!) but I worked as hard as I could for the two and a half hours until lunch. At the end, Elliot and I helped harvest three sections of rice! All the kids had to do was bring the tied bundles back to the van but they were so excited to help!

And when I say harvest, I mean we were using an old sickle with a wooden handle and everything. The rice is planted in bundles in neat little rows. So to cut it, you have to grab the bundle about 8" from the ground and in one clean slice, use your sickle to cut it. Sounds easy enough but when you have to do hundreds of these little bundles, your energy leaves you and you end up weakly sawing through the bundle of rice. haha Then the rice is taken back the campus and piled high under cover. After dinner the thrasher machine was brought out so the rice could be gleaned from the stalks. Wow, it was so cool to actually see these steps! I think the rice just has to be dried and then it is good to go (aka be eaten).

Tomorrow I have to go back to Dhaka :( Sad day I know. This time I'm going only with Jason, our driver and man who goes around to find sponsors for the village school kids. I'm having a hard time with my visa unfortunately. I can be here at least until February--that's the good news. The bad news is I have to go to Dhaka to buy a visa for India so that I can go in two weeks and restart my 60day pass. After that pass runs up (pretty much on my birthday--Happy Birthday to Jehanna :P) I can try to buy a 30day extension the visa I already have. The bad news is that the visa for India and the extension cost about 10,000taka each (or $150USD). For the most part, I fundraised some extra in case of this, but what I'm worried about is what happens after my extension runs out. The Waid's and Elliot would still have another month at least in Bangladesh and then I was hoping to travel Asia for a while with either Elle or whoever comes over from home. I guess I'm just frustrated because I don't see what the big deal is. Why wouldn't they want me here? AND I'm frustrated that the four Americans that are here with me all have 6-month, multiple entry passes. Come on Canada--two 60day, double entry passes? The orphanage is listed as an NGO (non-government organization) with no religious affilations, which is needed in a Muslim country. I'm bringing money into their country! They should want me here :P

So I'm asking for your prayers in the next couple days.. Not only for my safety (what am I going to do without Elliot?) but also that this whole visa mess gets worked out. I want to stay as long as possible at this orphanage because who knows when I'll be able to come back. Pray for good news...!

as always,
ami tomake bhalobashi

of watercolours and Catholic leprosy centers

Yesterday brought another day of creative minds expressing themselves through the wonderful world of art (a world which never cared to grant me a visa lol). Initially, we were going to have them do simple watercolour pictures but then Elle had a moment of inspiration. We gave each kid a third of a piece of construction paper in four different colours. After painting each slip of paper, the kids will cut them into feather-shaped pieces and staple them to a headband. Happy American Thanksgiving everyone. Don't ask my when or why American Thanksgiving happens because I really don't know.

After a couple weeks of stretching the creative parts of the brain, the kids set to work almost immediately. However, watercolours are kinda hard to work with. You need lots of water to make the colours work and with 24 young children water is hard to have around. A couple masterpieces were ruined by one accidental move and sad faces followed. But for the most part, the kids had a great time and were excited for next week's followup :)

Right after art, Elliot and I dashed down to the kitchen to round up all the ingredients needed to make a cake. Our Bengali roommate Banni's birthday was yesterday and we wanted to throw a surprise birthday party for her. We had already painted a Happy Birthday banner for her, laminated it, and strung it up in the cafeteria. The Waid's took Banni to Panchbibi for a couple hours under the premise of buying a birthday present so that we could get things ready.

But making a cake in Bangladesh is harder than home for sure. For instance, at home, when you have butter straight out of the freezer, you pop it in the microwave for a couple seconds and you are good to go. Not so much in Bangladesh. We settled for putting it in the oven for a couple minutes but even that didn't work so well. Second, all we had to measure with was a third of a cup and a spoon from the dining table. So in all actuality, we guessed on most ingredients. AND, the only milk here is the kind you have to mix up from a powdery base... Ahh it was good times.

[Funny story. Elle and I went to Hili on Thursday with Banni hoping to find some icing sugar for her cake. We told her we wanted to make cupcakes with icing later next week so she wouldn't suspect anything. Banni took us to a local baker because SHE wanted to have a cake made for her birthday. We kept playing along, figuring that the cake she had made would just be shared with just close friends. At the bakers, we asked for icing sugar. The first package brought out was huge round chunks of sugar that looked like rock salt. No, we told him, not even close. The next package brought out looked more like icing sugar. Elle tried some and said it tasted funny--probably because the other side of the package said ASPARTAME in bold letters... good thing we didn't ice a whole cake with rat poison...! We finally got our icing sugar though... I had a good laugh about the aspartame though lol.]

so back to the birthday party. We made an icing from a ton of butter, vanilla, cocoa powder, powdered milk, and our icing sugar. They didn't grind the sugar very well so it was kinda gritty but overall pretty tasty :) We had doubled the cake recipe because we wanted to invite all the caretakers and office staff that Banni works with, but forgot to double the icing recipe. Ehh.. it all worked out in the end. We also bought a big candle for the cake in Hili so Banni had something to blow out. When they finally got back, she was so surprised seeing everyone in the cafe in front of our Birthday banner. Weird thing about Bengali's is that they really do just eat and go. We gave everyone a piece of cake and then they vanished. It's not the first time it's happened either--church potlucks are kind of a bummer when people eat at a hefty pace then up and leave. lol it's so weird...!

Which brings us to today :) Elle and I sang special music (How Great Thou Art) with a Bengali couple and the rest of church ran pretty smoothly. I came back up to the room because I was supposed to have a phone date with Mom but sadly she couldn't get through after trying *15* times. I don't know why it wouldn't work but I couldn't stick around to find out because I was being ushered out of our room, out of the building, and towards our [not-so-]trusty Hilux. The cab was full so six more of us piled into the bed of the truck where we were bounced around for 45min. We were going to see Shuniti (pronounced Shoo-nee-tee). Shuniti is a special case here at Bangla Hope. The Waid's were just leaving a village, after picking up more children that were being abandoned, when Shuniti's mother rushed over and begged the Waid's to take her baby. They did because they saw the need and it wasn't until a few days later that they realized she was paralyzed. Shuniti has been here at Bangla Hope ever since then until a couple months ago when the woman who was caring for her moved away. That's when they sent her to DLC.

DLC, stands for D(insert name of the village here) Leprosy Center, is a enormous Catholic mission which is home to a school, church, and hospital. We met an Italian man there (I think he was the residing bishop...) who had dedicated the last 40 years of his life to this mission and has even mastered the language. He told us that there is about 14,000 lepers in the area but the numbers have been decreasing in the last couple of years as less and less people contract this disease. He took us to where Shuniti lived with her caretaker. She is such a precious angel. She has been doing physiotherapy at the hospital and can now move her legs and arms and is even able to stand (with assistance) on her tip toes. She may need to have surgery before her leg muscles will allow her to put her foot fully on the ground. She definitely has strength in her arms because when she grabbed my hand she was NOT wanting to let go :)

Mrs.Waid also brought along new clothes to give Shuniti--two pretty Sabbath dresses and a cute pair of jammies. There was another little girl, maybe about seven or eight, standing in the doorway scowling at us. I didn't think too much of her until Litton translated that this girl had had the same condition as Shuniti but now could walk! When he called her over, she began to walk and though she had a noticeable limp, she could WALK! We all told her "bhalo, cou bhalo" [good, very good] and she got such a big smile on her face. I stuck out my arms and she walked over to and was stuck on me for the rest of our time there. I cuddled her on my lap as she explored my hands and watch.

Mrs.Waid wanted to see Shuniti walk in physio walker so we all headed over to the physio clinic. The little girl held my hand so tightly as we walked over. Her legs still don't stay straight when she walks and she was leaning so far to the left side that I had to use a good part of my weight to counterbalance her. She held on so tightly to me that I was afraid if the connection slipped she would fall straight down. When we got to the physio clinic, I sat down on a bench and plopped the little girl on my lap. We had sat in front of a mirror and I began to point to the mirror saying "shoonder may" [beautiful girl] and making funny faces. She laughed and laughed. We got to see Shuniti walk a couple feet strapped into her walker and it was so special to watch! It was such a great experience and an amazing way to spend Sabbath afternoon.

now what will you do with your Sabbath day...? :)
ami tomake bhalobashi

of English class and where I live

This week has been pretty easy going... Boring if you will :) But I guess everyone needs a week like this every so often to counterbalance the craziness that is the rest of our lives. So pretty much every day has gone like this: wake up, stay in bed until five minutes before breakfast, frantically get dressed, run downstairs, eat, come back to the room, shower, check my email, teach English math and English, back to the room, check email (read, sleep, chill), conversational English, dinner, kids kids kids, back to room, email, sleep. Exciting eh? But again, it has been a nice break.

My mom wanted to see where I live and stuff so that's what these pictures are. The big cafeteria is where we eat meals, the kids eat meals, have kids worship, have caregivers worship, vespers, and church. It's pretty all purpose. There is a pretty view of the left wing of the orphanage from the door to the cafe and a shot from the door to our apartment. Banni is staying with us right now and we teach conversational English from that (really uncomfortable) couch. Our bathroom isn't terribly big but it doesn't have to be. The sink is cut out from the shot but it's really just a sink by a toilet and nothing really special :) It's all really basic... but it's becoming like home.

I've been teaching my grade one kids how to better recognize words they can't put a picture to (like where, what, this, it, is, etc.). I had a fun breakthrough when I put all these hard words on the board and got them to come up and circle the word I was saying. But then I started to trick them by saying other words in the Dick and Jane book. They thought that was hilarious and we made a fun game out of it. [Please don't say I'd made a good teacher though! I don't think I could do this day in and day out... No offense to teachers but I can't think of ways to DAILY explain these small and basic things. It really is not for me.]

While I've had quite the uneventful week, the Waid's have their hands full with staffing changes. I don't know why but three people quit this week and two new girls have come to help. It's sad for many people here, especially because two that quit were SO good in the nursery. They were the ones in the last post changing a diaper with two babies with bottles on each knee. I haven't really gotten to know the new girls yet but they seem nice. I've learned that Bengali's are very sensitive people who get their feelings hurt pretty easily (wow, a country of ME lol) and when you have almost 20 caregivers (aka 20 women) working in one orphanage stupid fights are bound to happen. But seeing a country of ME has made me try to be rational and give people the benefit of a doubt--well at least that is what I'm working towards :)

I'm also realizing that the life-changing experience I hoped to have over here won't come overnight. I feel like I keep waking up, hoping that God has changed me into the person He (and I) wants me to be. Sadly that's not the case. But I hope that daily, through all the craziness here, I can get just a tad bit closer to that person.. We'll see after the year's over I guess.

I've also had to learn that I can't change Bangladesh. I can only leave my small mark on some wonderful children here, hoping that even after I'm gone they will be okay. I'm starting to see it too--when they run up and in broken English tell me that so-and-so is crying because another kid hit them or took their toy. That wouldn't have happened a month ago. I just hope that learning English will really help them make a good life for themselves! Again... only time will tell right?

but that's all for now.. I'm sure art tomorrow will be the highlight of the week :) Should be fun!
ami tomake bhalobashi

of winter clothes and little Shaelah, Jamie, Dolly, Amelia, and _____

The last couple days have been pretty relaxing. The trip to the south really took it out of all of us. Papri told us we could skip class on Thursday so we could get some much needed rest. Elle and I were both feeling kinda under the weather and took full advantage of the day off. Friday is art day and at 10:30 we headed down to the class room to set up water colours on each desk. When no one else showed up in the following ten minutes, I ran downstairs to find Papri. She told me she gave the kids a holiday and to not worry about. Get some more rest she said :) So we did. We did laundry and pretty much rested the rest of Friday.

Saturday was also pretty uneventful. I had to teach Sabbath School again which was actually pretty fun. I told the kids about the porcupine. The program I'm going off of was set up by a sweet old lady from America and is all about wild animals. The only problem is, most of the animals are from forests, which means the kids haven't heard of them before. I think they enjoyed hearing stories at least.

By the way, Mrs. Waid gave us the privilege of naming the babies we brought back. I named my little girl Shaelah, because she is beautiful and looks like me when I was a baby--Michelin Man legs and all! lol The boy was named James, Jamie for short, since all the boys here are named after Bible characters. Mrs. Waid named the younger sister Dolly because the little one has barely any substance to her she's so tiny! After many days of contemplation, Elle settled on Amelia for the older sister. I really like that name and I think it suits her well. We still haven't named the other little girl so I'll have to report back in a couple days.

Church yesterday was all in Bangla so I took little Shaelah back to the nursery when she started squirming. I can't believe the caretakers in the nursery. There are three of them that take care of about twelve babies under the age of about one. I don't know how they do it. One caretaker was changing a diaper while feeding two babies with a bottle on each knee. It was amazing to watch them. I got to see little Amber as she slept in her crib. She is sooo tiny--like premie tiny! Apparently little Shaelah hasn't been taking formula very easily, which is sad. The other "no name" girl is big enough that she's been eating rice and dhal. She really packs it away!

Jamie has been sent to live in the boys room. There aren't many boys here so they all stay in one room, from toddler to about seven years old. I think it's a harder adjustment for the poor guy because boys are always more rough. The sisters are still isolated because they have such a bad cough that gurgles in their chest when they breath. It's really sad to be around them when they cough :(

Today, we were charged with switching out the children's summer clothes for "winter clothes." It definitely does not get cold here by my Canadian standards but Bengali's are starting to find the mornings quite chilly. It sounds like an easy task but when you have winter clothes for all 100kids packed away in drawers and cupboards, finding the right size dress for a little girl in the mess is challenging. Mrs. Waid was in charge of Sabbath dresses, Elle of everyday dresses, Brittni of kangaroo sleepers (you know those child size onesies?), Papri of socks, and me of little girl undies. One at a time, one room at time, we took the misfitting and old clothes away, giving two new Sabbath dresses, three everyday dresses, three tiny undies, two pairs of socks (one everyday, one Sabbath), and a onesie to sleep in.

It was an odd realization to see the little girls bring a foot and a half stack of clothes to our work station in the middle of the hallway. That's all they clothes they have--really that's all they need. When I moved home this last summer from Walla Walla, my poor car Penelope was FILLED with clothes. I probably don't wear most of them, but I still have them. And here are these completely content children holding all they own in their sweet little arms. But it really did take forever to even go through two rooms of girls (and I wasn't even there for all of it--Elliot was the real trooper, there for all of it). We took a dinner break before starting the rooms of smaller girls. We'll give the boys clothes tomorrow. Boys are more simple to dress than girls because they wear their everyday clothes to church for the most part--easy peasy!

After dinner I ran up to the room because I was hoping to connect with Michael on Skype or Facebook because I feel like I haven't talked to him in ages between traveling and bad internet. And yet again, Firefox kept acting up so I barely got to talk to him :( I was definitely feeling blue when I closed my computer and headed down to help with the clothes again. When I got outside, I saw Emily (the caretaker in charge of the sisters in their isolated room) taking the girls outside for some fresh air. She was holding little Dolly and Amelia was walking closely beside her. I told Amelia, "Ah-show" which means "Come" in Bangla and surprisingly enough she came to me with open arms. While these girls both have bad chest colds, I couldn't help but absolutely envelope this little soul. And boy did she cling to me, placing her head in the crook of my neck and wrapping her arms around me.

I walked with Emily and the sisters over to where the massive clothes swap was happening. I tried to set Amelia down so that she could get some new dresses but she wasn't too happy about that. But then the coolest thing happened. I was holding her when out of some silly inspiration, I grabbed her free hand and began to pump it up and down. I hummed some silly song and danced her a loopy circle. She laughed! The little girl that only four days ago wouldn't stop crying after being ripped from her mother's arms was smiling and laughing with me. Suddenly I didn't feel so blue. After that, she let Elliot fit her to a couple pretty dresses and let Brittni find her a fuzzy onesie for bed--well, as long as I was only a couple feet away. It was so special to watch a connection grow with such her, a sweet lovebug deep down.

When I noticed Emily and Dolly were gone, I headed back to their isolated room with Amelia on my hip. I found Emily feeding Dolly some rice and curry mixture so I put down Amelia so she could be fed too. I ended up spoon feeding Dolly about half a plate of food! Seriously, those girls were PACKING it away. I was SO happy. When you see pictures you'll understand why--these girls are nothing more than bones. I'm really hoping they'll grow with all the good food they are being fed.

Tonight, after a small cup of warm milk, the girls were given their cough medicine and put into their cute jammies. Both girls started screaming when we tried to put them into their cribs though. It was so sad. Emily picked up Dolly and Amelia wouldn't let go of me any time I came close to her bed. I sat with her, cuddling her until she calmed down. Dolly fell asleep in Emily's arms so we tried again to put the girls to bed. Dolly fell asleep but Amelia started crying again. I asked Moni (pronounced Moonie, she's the oldest girl here and has been in our conversational English class) what she was saying as she cried. Moni told me that she was saying, "Mom, mom" through her tears. It was so sad for me to know that even though she was making connections here, she still didn't forget her mommy. I can't imagine what that must feel like. I don't think I wrote this in my last blog but we offered the sisters' mommy a job at our orphanage many times. She refused each time, coming up with lame excuses--why she wouldn't come, we don't know.

Please keep these young ones in your prayers each day. Like I said, I can't imagine the trauma of being ripped away from your parents... Sad day...
'tis all for now :)
ami tomake bhalobashi

of bumpy road trips and boat rides in Southern Bangladesh

Yesterday was the hardest day yet in Bangladesh. Before I get into that, I should probably tell what led up to my hardest, longest, and most exhausting day as an SM. Monday morning, bright and early at 4am, ten of us plus a rental company driver loaded into a twelve passenger van. Elliot, Banni, and I got the unfortunate privilege of riding in the very back of the van. Mr. and Mrs. Waid were in the bench seat a head of us with Brittni and the Swegles (and American couple that markets Pollywog, another handicraft business) were in the front seat bench with Litton. I spent the 10hr trip trying to sleep on the bumpy roads and when that failed I turned to Ingrid Michaelson, Joshua Radin, and Jack Johnson on my iPod to keep me company. We stopped a couple times to use the squat pots, get gas, and once for fresh naan but the trip was still brutally long cramped in the back seat.

Our first stop in the South was to KMMS (Kellogg *something* Memorial Seminary I think) which is a pretty big SDA boarding school. We walked around the campus and smiled at the students as they ran by giggling in their neat uniforms. Banni introduced us to a student named Beejoya. I don't think I've told you about Joya yet on this blog. She is a 15year old girl that lives at the orphanage here and helps out with Handicrafts here. From what I understand, her story is she was alone at her family's home when a man broke in and raped her. She got pregnant and her family kicked her out. She came to BanglaHope and had her baby here. Little Desiree was less than a month old when we first arrived, which means Joya was only 14 when she was raped. The Beejoya we met at KMMS was her twin. Beejoya hadn't seen her sister since she was kicked out so we showed her pictures of her little niece that she's never met.

Maybe I don't have the whole story but I have a problem with this. I know I don't understand Bengali culture quite yet but I can't believe a family would kick their daughter out after such a traumatic experience. Moreso, Joya wants to go back to school soon and is going to give Desiree to BanglaHope to raise. But Joya can't go back to KMMS. They won't take her back. Again, how is that showing the love of Christ if a poor girl can't rejoin her family when the whole situation wasn't her fault. I was really upset after visiting KMMS to say the least.

We slept at another village school while we were there. Us four girls shared a room and the Swegles got their own small room that had three beds. We had to string mosquito nets but even so, Elle got 7bites on her elbow and 5 on the PALM of her hand. No where else really. How does that happen? And I'm pretty sure our beds were old wooden doors that someone put a two inch foam on. But that's Bangladesh! You gotta be grateful for whatever you get!

The next day, we went to town for a breakfast of japatees (sp?), which were thoroughly delicious, at about 7am. Then we walked down to the river dock and waited for the ferry. We got into a small, unsturdy wooden boat that resembled something like what you would see in Venice. Except it was severly dilapidated and steered by a thin old Bengali man with only one eye. Also, we had to perch perfectly on the side, making sure the weight was as even as possible so that we didn't end up in the drink.

The man took us about 15min down the river to a beach where we unloaded onto the muddy clay surface and then walked to the first of three village schools we would visit that day. They were so sweet there! Students from the school came up to us with handmade necklaces made from flowers on the campus. Mine had beautiful bright red hibiscuses that smelled so sweet. The teachers gave us fresh coconut (and when I mean fresh, I mean they picked a green coconut off the tree and chopped part of the top off) so we could have some cold coconut water. It's unlike anything I've ever had--neither good nor bad, just interesting. When the water was gone, they took the coconut, split it open, and formed part of the shell into a primitive spoon. I got to taste what fresh, fresh, fresh coconut is like. That stuff is slimy. While not completely awful, I passed mine off to Brittni to finish.

After a couple pictures, we headed back in the river to get to the next school. Banni stood on the boat and Mr. Waid was on the beach, but even though I was holding both of their hands I slipped and almost ate some mud pie. They caught me and I just got mud up my leg. Thick, dark, slimy mud :P yuk haha. This time we had to go upstream so Jason and Litton grabbed paddles and helped out our ferry man. It took us longer to get back but when we got back to our dock, we jumped back in the van and headed to another part of the river (about 30min away on THE bumpiest road you will ever travel on--I'm talking three foot holes in the middle of a bridge, so narrow that you are hitting trees branches on either side, and almost getting lost in massive holes on the side). We traded in the dilapidated wooden beast for a motorized and more sturdy boat. It was about the middle of the day and we were straight up melting. It was so hot out and there was barely any breeze. Plus, we are all wearing long pants and long, cap-sleeved shirts. Ah it was awful.

The second school was smaller but still kept up well. We didn't stay long there, mostly long enough to take a couple pictures, eat a banana, and say hi to the students. Have you heard of Two-Bite Brownies? Well these were Two-Bite Bananas :) Smallest, cutest, and tastiest bananas I've ever seen.

Back in the boat. The third school was ready for us. I was the first one out and was given directions to just keep walking straight. As I came up to a building, I could see a couple uniforms waiting with flowers and just assumed they wanted to give us another lei. Nope. The entire school was outside, forming two lines that led to the entrance. As we walked through, they threw little flowers on us and sang "Welcome, Welcome how do you do?" Then they had us all sit on the deck outside the classrooms and gave us fans that the students had made from reeds. The students formed about 6 or 7 lines (like they do at camp every morning at the flagpole) and the teacher officially welcomed us to the school. He had students come up with beautiful flower leis and wonderful bouquets of bright pink, orange, and red flowers. The students proceeded to do their school motto and song. Seriously, the students were unlike anything I've seen--so well behaved and disciplined :)
After that, we got some pictures and teacher offered us lunch. We ate rice, dhal, potato bora, banana bora, and leek bora (bora is sooo yummy!). I ate a chili. I thought it was a green bean in one of the dishes that they prepared but I was sooooo wrong. This thing was about 3 inches long and even Banni said it was too hot for her. I really thought my head was either going to explode or just stop working. I've never had my whole head ache like that. And my poor mouth. Oh man. It was so spicy!

We were pretty tired on the way back so Elle and I chilled to music on my iPod. Elliot was the in-house DJ and after a couple of oldies but goodies, she put on Wannabe by the Spice Girls. We both started dancing so crazily in the back seat because who doesn't know the words to that song! It was such a great way to relieve the tension we were feeling from the day.

Which brings me to yesterday, the hardest day yet. We woke up early again, packed our stuff into the van, and headed out to yet another village school where we would be meeting the families to get the babies. Mr. Waid and Litton had to hire another van to take them to the city to get the NGO stuff figured out which gave us more room in our van. On the way to the school, we picked up two couples that each had a child they were giving to our orphanage. When we got to the school, we met two women there. Both had children with them, one with two small girls and the other with a small boy. The two women were married to the same man, but because one of the women had two girls, he refused to clothe or feed the small girls. The mother said that he had not fed her in the last three days either and was forcing her to go to work in the fields. Thus, she had to give up her two tiny girls. It was an awful scene because you could tell she didn't want to let them go.

Before we took the children away, they all had to be bathed and clothed with dresses we brought from the orphanage. Jason, our adoption manager, had told us we would be picking up 6 girls so we brought enough dresses, diapers, and formula for that number. Turns out we only had five children, one which turned out to be a boy as he was being scrubbed clean. We found a onesie for him that barely fit his 1yr 8month body. He had been taken care of by his grandfather--I'm not sure what happened to his parents.

I took especially to one mother and her baby girl. Her husband had gone mad and wandered for weeks on end so the mother had to go work in the fields and couldn't take care of her 10month daughter. The grandmother came along as well and spoke fairly good broken English. She asked me what I did in America. When I told her I was a student in university, she told me through tears that she wanted her granddaughter to go to university as well when she gets older. I sat with the mother as she held her daughter for the last couple minutes, crying softly as she cried, holding her hand through the pain. At one time, she looked up through tears and said "My sister" as she squeezed my hand resting on her knee.

When Mrs. Waid told me it was time to go, I stood up and the mother placed the baby wrapped in blankets in my arms. We were both crying softly. As we walked to the front of the school where the van was, I tried to stay close to her so that she could have as much time as possible with her daughter. When we were a couple paces from the van, she absolutely broke down in tears, covering her face with her orna. My name was being called from the van to hurry because the mother of the two girls was getting frantic. She was being held from crawling into the van to fetch her children. I walked to van but stopped when I felt a hand on my shoulder. When I turned, it was the grandmother who told me "Take care of her." I nodded my head and climbed into the van. The mother of the baby I was holding, put her hand on my knee through the sliding door and sobbed as she stared at her baby for the last time. Elliot, Brittni and I were all crying as the van pulled away. We did our best to soothe the babies in our arms that were crying for their families.

My beautiful girl didn't cry--instead she fell asleep. Elliot was holding the older sister and it took a long time for her to stop crying. Anytime she looked ahead to her sister, who was in Mrs.Waid's arms, they both started screaming and crying. Brittni was holding the boy, who wouldn't stop calling for his grandfather for the first hour or two. When things calmed down, we all tried to get the children to eat or drink something. All refused the bottle, spitting up any formula that made its way into their mouths. We were successful with cookies and mashed bananas on most. It was a long 10hrs. One of the babies were always crying--they seemed to take turns. At one point, two threw up but luckily, we didn't have any diapers to change. While seemingly lucky, that means they were all so dehydrated, especially the two sisters. When we were about two hours from the orphanage, the sun went down and the babies fell asleep.

The two sisters have a bad cough so they are staying in a separate room for now as to not get the other ones sick. My little girl is still not eating but she is drinking water now. The baby boy is staying in the boys room and will sometimes just sit and cry for his grandfather. The other little girl, one of the ones that threw up, came down with a fever last night and was taken care of by the nurse here. Mrs. Waid says it will take about a week for the new ones to stop crying and about three weeks for them to start playing and acting normal. I can't imagine what they are going through.

Elliot and I were talking about this experience after and what made it so hard. It was sad to take Amber from her family but it didn't hit you in the gut as hard as this experience did. Elle commented that it's because these mothers wanted their kids so badly--they weren't just being randomly abandoned. There is no Welfare in this country, no social service to plead to in these situations. The mothers recognized this is the best option for their babies.

That's the other thing I've noticed over here. These aren't orphans, they are abandoned. I got the case histories of most of the kids here at BanglaHope and very few of them are actual orphans. In most cases, one parent has gone mad and therefore is absent, or has had a stroke, or has run off to India and married someone else, or has been paralyzed by an accident or disease. I wonder how many kids would be here if there were programs set up to help these single or paralyzed couples keep their children. It's heartbreaking really...

ah sorry for the long email. It was a packed three days. I'll post more pictures soon on Facebook... well soonish :)
ami tomake bhalobashi