of stubbornness and weddings

Since Elliot's been gone, I've been filling my time helping Ryan with a ton of different projects: Handicrafts catalog, SM brochure, 2011 Bangla Hope calendar, and hopefully a training video for the caregivers here. It's actually been pretty nice being this busy. I wake up, have breakfast, go to class, work on the projects, more class, study, dinner, badminton, card games with the Waid's, then devotions before bed.

I can't believe that I leave exactly four weeks from today (Friday). Here's what's going down: My dad is coming over March 21 and I'll be picking him up in Dhaka. We are going to come back to the orphanage so that he can see what I've been doing for six months. We'll leave March 26 for Dhaka and take a train to Delhi (no it's not that simple but that's the trip in a nutshell). We'll have a week in Delhi then we're flying to Thailand for a couple weeks. Hopefully we'll get to see Phuket, Laos, Burma, and Chiang Mai--if you have other highlights to see in Thailand, please let me know! Ahhh... then home. It's weird that I leave on Friday, April 23 and get in at noon the same day--yet I'm still in transit for over 24hrs. I can't wait to see YOU.

I know I've said it before, but moreso than ever I'm committed to making the last four weeks I have here the best YET. Spending time with the kids, helping with projects, making memories--all the while neglecting my computer. It actually feels pretty good not to be as tied to this thing as I was before.

I've made an important decision this week too. Looking back on my time here, I would have missed out on so many great adventures and opportunities if I would have had the same mindset as I've had at home. What I mean is that back home, anyone who knows me knows that I've never watched the Office, played Wii or Guitar Hero. Why? Just because it was the popular thing to do so I showed my rebellion in NOT doing it. It's also the reason why I never got my ears pierced--I got a tattoo instead. Just be be different.

How many times have I turned down an Office party or round of DDR for Wii? Sure, people may have laughed at me OR maybe I could have made some great memories with friends.

Thus, I've decided life is TOO short to be stubborn for the sake of being stubborn. So bring on Wii, contra dancing, Guitar Hero, Chronicles of Narnia, and all the other things I turned down before. Jehanna is becoming open-minded and it's about time!

I've also fallen in love. Her name is Natalie and she is about two years old. She has a sweet round face and the cutest pigtails always sticking out the top of her head. Anytime she sees me, she drops whatever she is doing and runs at me full force with her little arms extended. Oh my goodness. I love her. She is just the most precious soul. I love her.

How am I going to be able to say goodbye to Bangla Hope in four short weeks? Oh dear.


The other exciting piece of news is that I'll get to see Litton and Suborna get married before I leave. They will be tying the knot March 13 here at Bangla Hope and have even asked me to sing :) They want me to sing "I will always love you" for the ceremony and "Wind beneath my wings" for the reception. But Bengali weddings are way cooler than North American weddings--they have turmeric parties. Never heard of it? Basically, turmeric is everywhere and everyone leaves slightly more yellow than how they arrived. I'm so excited. Now I just gotta find an outfit that I don't mind ruining :)

On another note, Mr.Waid and his nephew Jim Brewer got on a bus early this morning from Dhaka to Hili. I guess it was foggy out this morning and their bus slammed into the back of a truck that was parked on the road. No one was seriously injured (Jim has a cut on his upper lip and Mr.Waid has a bruise on his chin) but it's definitely one of those times that remind you how fleeting life is. It also reminds me of how amazing and merciful the God we serve is.

anyways, that's all that is going on in my world currently. Four weeks left. Everybody get your countdown calendars out,

ami tomake bhalobashi

of spit and spankings

We finished off our time in Dhaka and headed back to the orphanage this last Friday. Ryan and I watched April Showers and Push on his laptop. April Showers is a heavy movie that chronicles the lives of students that have just survived a school shooting. It really made me think about the people I love most in this world and what would happen if I never got to say goodbye or that I love them again. In case I don't say it enough, ami tomake bhalobashi, I love you.

Saturday brought another Sabbath School lesson based on the second commandment. I feel like I'm caught in the struggle of living my faith outloud and not making any extremist Muslim's mad. I've settled on showing people the love of Jesus through my actions and not my words. We've been doing a Branch Sabbath School (at the Bangla Hope's village school) and usually a bunch of mothers come along with their kids. I took time to sit with them and use my little Bangla to keep up a conversation with them. I even got to hold a tiny month-old baby that was so adorable...

Yesterday was another holiday in Bangladesh. Don't ask me why, but they have two Veteran's Day's, one yesterday and one way back in December (I remember seeing the parades when we dropped Elliot off at the airport when she went to Spain). Thus, I used the day to clean our disheveled room, do some much needed laundry, and study for a bit. I also took a nap because Dhaka really seems to drain my energy--I went to sleep at 9pm the night before and woke up at 8am still tired. Go figure.

and tonight... Well tonight was tough. I've never experienced anything like it in my life. I had just finished having a really uplifting and encouraging talk with two of the Bangla Hope board members that are visiting and headed to the orphanage to say goodnight. Almost every night, I've gone into the boys' room to sing to them, then give them all kisses goodnight. Tonight as no exception.

I have no idea what happened. Ryan was just finishing telling a story and on his way out he told me that little Mikey had been naughty, earning him a couple spanks on the hand. I thought everything was fine though, finished singing two songs, then went around to say goodnight. Luke started crying and after investigating, I found out Danny had stolen his slice of lime. This really is no big deal because all the kids get a piece every night after dinner... Why he made it a big deal I don't know. Anyways, I could have spanked him (as Caleb in the next bed was encouraging me to do lol) but I used a different approach. Danny is such a smart little boy and I smiled as I encouraged him to do the right thing. I tried to reason with him, yet I was alone in the room with no one to translate for me.

He just stared at me, not saying a word. I got Luke to say please but Danny didn't budge. I ended up prying the lime out of his hand and giving it to Luke. Danny dove into the corner of his bed, sobbing. Wow. Okay so that was the first one.

There was a misunderstanding in the bed below next. I thought David was trying to steal Andrew's blanket so I tried to get little crying David into bed. Then I was told by Caleb (still doing his best to translate for me) that Andrew had taken two blankets so David didn't get one. So I pulled David's blanket out from under Andrew, and sent David to his bed after doing my best to scold Andrew (he's too young to understand English...). Two down, one to go.

I continued going to each bed, giving kisses and saying goodnight. I made a special note to stop at Danny's bed to let him know that while he was being naughty, I still loved him. The next couple beds were fine until I got to Johnny's.

[A little background on Johnny. He has epilepsy and we just found out that the nurse here told the caregivers and children basically to let Johnny to get away with anything he wants because he's sick. Thus, he's being running rampant and we're having a hard time calming him down.]

And we're back in. I came to Johnny's bed and said goodnight. He came to the end of the bed and started spouting off in Bangla. I had no idea what he said to me so I was about to move on, until Caleb piped up from the other side of the room and told me that Johnny was saying very bad and naughty words. Johnny just glared at me. I literally have NO idea what happened--I hadn't even hardly spoken to the kid since getting in the room... So I asked him what he said, then he spouted off again.

He spat in my face.

I was stunned. I climbed up and gave him a spanking. He was still saying bad words to me and when I asked him again what he said, he spat in my face. Again. From about a foot and a half away.

I climbed up again and pulled him down from his bed as he kicked and made a commotion. I took him outside and gave him a spanking on his bare bottom after doing my best to explain why he was getting spanked. I've seen Johnny made before but I've never seen him look so absolutely venomous before. I was shaking. I have NO idea what got into him!

It was awful. I had no idea what to do. I've never been spat in the face before, let alone by a 6yr old.

Honestly, I'm officially scared to be a parent. What do you do with a child that doesn't care about discipline? Just that vicious look is enough to say I hope I get all girls... Boys.

ami tomake bhalobashi

of Helgi and bandaids

ah this has definitely been a unique trip to Dhaka. We arrived Monday afternoon by bus and headed out almost immediately to the mall. Unfortunately, there was so much traffic that it took almost two hours to get from Uttara to Bashundhara City Mall. But at only 20tk a piece, Ryan, Elliot and I couldn't resist. The city buses actually aren't too too bad but I like taking autorickshaws better!

When we got to Bashundhara City, we walked around the shops for awhile before hunting down some food on the top floor. Guys, we found Taco Belle! No I didn't spell that wrong... The sign had the big Taco Bell letters with a smaller 'e' at the end lol. I usually get the 7-layer burrito--this time I had to get the 6-layer burrito because it's almost impossible to find guacamole in Bangladesh. Elliot and I also got soft serve ice cream and took some pictures by the signs. The guy behind the counter gave us three clay "Taco Bells", which are actually Hindu Bells but doesn't matter to me! Still so cool! I wish they had "Taco Bell" or Bangladesh stamped into them though.

After filling up on the Bengali version of Taco Bell, we walked by the movie theater and decided to drop in. Narnia and Stardust were both playing (in Bangla) but we decided to get the FULL experience and go to a movie called Jaago all about the comeback of the Bangladesh soccer team. Oh man, you can't get much more cliche than that movie... LOL But it was actually pretty good all things considering. We followed the plot line pretty well most of the time but I'm still not sure who died or how they died (sorry if I just ruined the movie for you lol).

The next day we had to go back to the visa office for Josiah because he had arranged a meeting with the same crook we met with a couple months ago. This guy wasted my time for an hour! I was calm and polite, while assertive and firm with him but he kept dodging the ONE question that I had for him. So frustrating... It was worth it though if Josiah can get another 3months here.

After the visa office, we went down to the University to try to find Mrs.Waid but we never found her. Instead, we had a portrait drawn of the three of us. We call it "Pocahontas, Naughty Boy, and Helgi." Guess which one I am...? lol It was so funny though because we weren't allowed to smile so all of us are drawn with straight faces--which is if you know any of the three of us, you know we are always smiling! The man drawing us with pretty strict about us remaining stone-faced while he drew us and that was torture for Ryan. Elle and I did our best to "help" him keep a straight face lol. We're going to try to copy it but if nothing else, I'll take a picture of it and post it :)

Yesterday, we wandered over to Gulshen to do some shopping on Elliot's last day. We found the only official reseller of Apple in Dhaka and hung out there for awhile. It was actually a really nice, clean store--completely the opposite of most of Bangladesh. We then headed to the main hub and found a version of a mall. Yellow is a trendy store that sells actually really nice clothes. They were also having a Winter Sale: everything in the store 50%! Elliot and I bought really cute and SOFT tanktops for only $2 and I got a cute shirt for $7. I can't wait to wear it back home!

We ate lunch at KFC--the real deal. I got chicken fingers and a veggie burger. Yet the veggie burger patty was three pieces of hashbrown... Weird eh? Anyways, after lunch, we wanted to head to NewMarket and as we were asking for directions, we had an amazing experience. Two older looking men, respectable, asked us if we needed a ride. One of the guys owns one of the largest leather exporting companies in Bangladesh and the other guy owns the 4th largest bottled water company here. Incredible! They drove us almost an hour through traffic in their air-conditioned 4-Runner, keeping up amazing converstaions the whole time. I learned so much about the mindset here, especially the Muslim's perspective on the war in Iraq and the US in general. So interesting!

Last night we ate at Dhansuri one more time before Elle had to leave for the airport. Then we came back here, picked up her things and headed to the airport to make her 8:55pm plane. It was so sad :( After almost five months, our adventure together came to an end. I'm going to miss that girl so much. I don't know how I'm going to stand sitting in our room, staring at her empty bed, and seeing the blank wall where all her pictures used to hang. She's been my best friend here, my support, my confidante.

But I know I've been so blessed to do this trip with her and I am incredibly thankful to God and her for that. She is such an incredible person, fearless and humble, strong and passionate. I know God is going to use Elliot to do such amazing things and I can't wait to lay witness to the woman she becomes. Please keep her in your prayers as she heads back home to family, friends, and the difficult reverse culture shock that awaits her. I know I'll see her in a little over two months, but that seems like forever when you've seen someone every day for so long.

I'm just going to miss amar prio bondue.

We head back to Bangla Hope tomorrow by bus and I can't wait to get back to my bed--away from the noise, dirt, and MOSQUITOS! My feet look like I have chicken pox. And that's WITH a mosquito net every night. My goodness.

By the way, real quickly, has anyone else noticed how well Canada is doing in the Olympics? We have 6 medals! What's more exciting is that we won a gold medal for the first time on our own soil. Go team! I wish I was there to get wrapped up in the excitement of it all... Shucks eh?

ami tomake bhalobashi

of tears and friends

Happy Valentine's Day. Yet, mine was neither 'happy' nor "Valentine's"-ey. You see, today was Elliot's last day at the orphanage. We are leaving tomorrow morning for Dhaka and then she flies to LA on Wednesday. She's going to be spending some time in Argentina with her boyfriend and his family, then flying back home to start Spring Quarter in WallaWalla. She has all her stuff packed, some of which will stay here for another couple weeks until Ryan Wilkinson goes back.

You should have heard the sounds coming from the big girls' room tonight. Keep in mind, we've been teaching these kids every day for almost five months and have grown close with them... But they came unglued! They were crying, Elliot was crying, and I was crying. It broke my heart to see the scene unfold. Elle choked tears back as she sang to them for the last time the little song she made up the first week we were here: "Goodnight little girls... Goodnight little girls... Sleep now, don't cry... Just close your eyes..." But the weird thing is, my heart was broken in two.

Half of me is so incredible jealous that Elliot is heading home. I know that probably sounds awful but it's the truth. I miss home so much. I miss my parents and my family. I miss my friends and my.. well. I miss my life back home--and everything that goes along with it.

But the other half of me is petrified to think of going home. I was walking through the back alleys of Panchbibi this afternoon with the group on the way to the man's house where we had the Eid dinner. Open sewage, gnarly-looking dogs, mud huts--this has become my norm. I just can't even begin to think about how bad the reverse culture shock is going to be. No more prayer calls, no more kids, no more cockroaches... I came to Bangladesh because I couldn't graduate this year anyways--but it was more than that. I was trying to put the brakes on my life and slow time long enough to breathe. I've had time to breathe now, but now I'm scared to go back and have my life pick up again. Graduate, career, family, the rest of my life. And I still don't know for sure where God is leading me.

I feel like I'm living in the twilight zone and none of this is actually real. I'm not actually in Bangladesh. I'm not actually going to have to say goodbye to my best friend over here in two days. I'm not going to be leaving in 5weeks. I'm not... Fill in the blank. But after watching Elliot say goodbye to the girls and caregivers, I couldn't help but imagine my departure. I teared up thinking of singing to the boys one last time and accepting one last round of kisses. Saying goodbye to Banni, Papri, Shati, Shoprova and not knowing when I'll ever be able to come back. ugh. I'm dreading that day...

Right now, I can't imagine dropping Elliot off at the airport and knowing that I'm not going to get to see her for about two months. I can't imagine coming back to Bangla Hope and seeing her bed empty. I want to make the best out of this situation but I feel like I'm frantically clawing at time, begging it to stop ticking by.

More than even, I need to cling to God. He's taken me through (and is continuing to) some hard times these last couple weeks and this has to just be anther lesson in disguise. I've heard the saying that God won't give you more than you can handle; I just wish He wouldn't trust me so much. Mother Teresa said that.

Please keep me and Elliot in your prayers and thoughts these next couple days. They are going to be pretty rough for both of us.
ami tomake bhalobashi

of cooking lessons and watches

mmm I got so much sleep last night... I needed it! I woke up this morning, early enough to brush my teeth and wash my face before breakfast! I wish I could say this is the norm but usually both those activities have to wait until breakfast is done because I'm pulling myself out of bed in order to just make it to breakfast in time :)

I taught a new way of adding numbers today. The kids had never seen dominos before but after I explained the game they caught on quickly and finished their math assignments really quickly. I also taught the letter W today. lol Nothing too exciting to say about that... After they were done practicing their letters and colouring the corresponding pictures, I read them a couple stories.

[Funny story: I have a little girl in my class named Hannah. Naturally, I call her Hannah Banana. Now if you've known me for a long time, you know I used to be called Jehanna Banana all the time while I was growing up and I HATED it with a fiery passion that exudes from my very soul. Nonetheless, I passed it on with love to little Hannah. She always gives me a weird look when I call her that (cola, the Bangla word for banana, doesn't really rhyme) so I had Papri explain it to her. I told her that I used to be called that as a kid and now I'm sharing it with her. When Hannah heard that I was called that too, she broke into a bright smile and was so excited. Just seeing her reaction has made me lighten up and ALMOST see Jehanna Banana as a cute and endearing name... ALMOST. lol]

After class, Elliot, Ryan, Brittni, and I headed back to the village near the village school we did Sabbath School at last weekend. One of the women, Kakoli is her name, had invited us over to her house to teach us how to cook. So we came armed with a half bottle of oil, rice, potatoes, onions, tomatoes, cilantro, salt, and a jar of bright yellow tumeric. She first had us toss the rice to get rid of small rocks and pieces of whole rice. LOL Elliot accidentally tossed some on the ground at one point but everyone laughed and she tried again :)

She took the rice into a small room, about 5ft by 5ft with two sunken in fire pits. The pits had dirt/clay built up around them so the cooking pots perfectly fit in. It's a little incredible actually. She got the rice boiling (using those sticks covered in cow dung and bamboo for fuel) and we headed back into the courtyard to get the vegetables prepared.

She brought out those round sickle-shaped knives and we squatted on the ground eager to learn the Bengali way. We sliced eggplant, peeled potatoes, and cut onions and tomatoes with that little knife. It's incredible actually. I'm thinking about bringing one back home, though I can't imagine sitting on the floor cutting up vegetables :) About that time, the rice was done cooking and she took it off the fire and put a small wok on instead. We made a potatoe curry, sweet tomatoe curry, cilantro and potatoe curry, and cilantro bora. It was incredible.

At one point, she put whole chili's on a stone block and took another square block and started grinding it into a smooth paste. She also did this with pieces of cinnamon bark and other spices. I asked to try and suddenly was squatting near the block, grinding up spices for the curries. I sat with her for the rest of the time, doing my best to talk to her and her small daughter, while also observing and helping in the cooking process. It was such an amazing experience. We took a lot of video but I didn't have my camera with me so I couldn't take any pictures--I think Elle has some though.

We were there for almost 3hrs. I know the food was cooked really well--like bubbling and steaming but I really didn't want to eat any food considering I haven't been sick since I've been here. Plus Shati was making food back at Bangla Hope for us to eat. But in the end, I just HAD to try some of the food. And OHMIGOODNESS!! It was absolutely delicious! Not too spicy but so full of flavour. I was eating with my fingers, mashing the potatoes between my fingers, and taking in the full Bengali experience of it all. I feel like there are no words to express how amazing those three hours were...

I've been praying ever since my first bite that I won't get sick from what I ate. When I got back, I made myself a cocktail of charcoal and liquid silver so hopefully that will kill off anything the scorching hot fire didn't... Plus prayer. I should be covered--fingers crossed!

The sad part of my day came on the way back when someone asked me what time it was. I told them 4pm but Elliot said "No, it's 4:15"... Thus I think my watch battery has died. Sad day in the neighbourhood! This watch hasn't left my wrist since I got it back in June of 2006 but I'm not sure I trust the Hili watchsmiths to fix it properly. Sad, sad day in the neighbourhood. It's going to stay on my wrist for the time being nonetheless because I really don't want to take the chance of misplacing it.

ahhh what a good day though. Just incredible really. When you see pictures of what I was working with maybe you'll understand :) I just keep thinking how Kakoli would respond to coming to America, not having to perch over a hot fire or worry about using cow dung as fuel--how different our kitchens look compared to her mud painted 5x5 room. In other words, count your blessings and never, ever take even the simplest things for granted--I really hope I won't ever again!

ami tomake bhalobashi

of SuperBowl and sick rooms

I had a great weekend. I scrambled a lesson together for Sabbath school, something about the Golden Rule--do unto others as you would have them do unto you. I was supposed to talk about the whole speck in your brother's eye and a plank in your eye so I drew a big picture of an eye. Yeah... my artistic skills were put to shame when the kids said "poka" and "roach" instead of "eye" when I asked them what it was... lol For the record, I've never claimed to be an artist!

Later that afternoon, we headed to the local village school to do an afternoon Sabbath school with them. We brought along four of our kids to lead the songs and then I told the story of Joseph and his brothers. Josiah followed it up with a story about forgiving someone who had injured him while playing soccer. Elle came up with a small art project to do, where the kids traced their hands on the paper and drew how they could do good with their hands and not evil. We had a lot of fun and even got to connect with some of the women that came with their children--we may even be cooking with them tomorrow afternoon!

Later that evening we had a couple games of intense badminton and then we all played 5 Crowns with the Waids (it's kinda like rummy but with special cards). I did well at badminton but got killed at 5 Crowns. Yesterday I redeemed myself though by winning the game with only getting 19pts the whole time! Whoop whoop!

Yesterday Elliot and I had the BRILLIANT idea of buying t-shirts in Hili and decorating them with puff paint in honour of the SuperBowl. The Waid's get some satellite channels so we all planned to get up early to watch the game. We bought chips, tiny oranges, and spicy peas in town for snacks and planned to make popcorn the morning of.

We got t-shirts for Mr.Waid, Ryan, Josiah, and ourselves. Elle was supporting the Colts (her birth town) so I decided to go for the Saints. Thus I choose a red t-shirt--plainly showing how much I DON'T know about football lol. Our shirts turned out soooo cool though. Really, that was half the fun for me :) Nonetheless though, Elliot and I woke up at 4:15am (2:15pm Sunday afternoon back home) to get ready and meet Ryan downstairs to make popcorn. By the way, thanks Mom for the popcorn. We had to use the stuff you sent me because everything in the kitchen was locked since it was 4:30AM! :P lol


With snacks in hand and Ryan wearing his new shirt, we trekked to the Waid's apartment to watch the game. We thought for sure it would be playing on ESPN but what we didn't realize is that the channel was ESPN Asia... So the SuperBowl was replaced by cricket and junior badminton matches. Not so awesome. Josiah and Mr.Waid ended up staying in bed because we couldn't get the game but us 'die hard fans' gathered as many snacks and headed down to the office to try to stream the game. Again, not so much. Good ol' Bangladesh internet.


While we were waiting for the stream to work, we made up one of those 10x10 score cards. No we weren't gambling... What do Adventists call this...? Oh right, raffling. lol We each chose 33 squares at 10tk a square. Each quarter, someone would win 200tk and then the final score would win 400tk. Elliot won the first quarter since she had the 0-0 square, I won the next one with 0-6, we think Ryan won the third quarter (but aren't sure because that's when the power went out--if you know what the score was let me know!), and I won the final jackpot with 7-1. It kinda evened out in the end though lol.

We got to watch snippets of the game but at one point the power went out and any stream that we were almost at shut off. We kept checking the score as long as we could until Elliot's cell phone (and thus Bluetooth) died. In the meantime we listened to music, had a lot of laughs, ate some yummy food, and did our best to really make this a memorable SuperBowl. Near the end we had the brilliant idea of heading to the roof to try to get a better signal so we spent 10min on the top of the roof, waiting to see even a glimpse of anything. Dang. Nothing. But the Saints won and I won our little raffle. It was a good day.

The SuperBowl ended just as breakfast was starting so we ran down to eat. I gave Mr.Waid and Josiah the t-shirts we had decorated for them--I have to say Josiah's was my favourite that we did (it had a tie and pocket printed on the front and looked pretty 80's). After teaching class, I came upstairs and took a LONG nap. It felt wonderful... We were then invited to the mayor of Panchbibi's twin sons' birthday. Yeah we are THAT important lol. Well actually, the man who invited us to the Eid festival dinner was related to the mayor (which isn't surprising considering his father had FOUR wives, totaling 17children). We had another fabulous meal, got to see Polly (she did the henna on our hands at the Eid Fest), and spent time talking with the grandma and niece. The grandma is SO sweet... Oh man, I love her.


When we got back, I stayed down to hang out with the kids for a while. They ran around the side of the building and showed me four HUGE beehives stuck to the side of our building. Seriously, these things are monstrous! One is even shaped like an 'S' and is pretty impressive! "Moe-ma see-chalk" either means bees or honey but I learned a new word in the process :)

The kids all went into the cafeteria to eat dinner and I was walking back to the apartment, I passed by the sick room. Poor little Natalie was standing in the middle of the room, naked, alone, and crying. I went in picked her up and tried to figure out what was wrong. The poor sweetheart was sick with scabbies (a skin disease that is pretty contagious, but 100% preventable, so she had to be isolated from the other kids) and the caregiver had gone to get something quickly. I held her until she stopped crying and the caregiver got back. We got her dressed but she was still crying so I craddled her like a baby in my arms as I tried to cheer her up.


She wouldn't crack a smile for the longest time. I tried everything but surprisingly enough the thing that worked the most was pretending to eat her fingers.. Weird I know. "Ami cabo tomar hot" which means "I eat your hand." She broke into a smile, and when I pretended to eat her stomach and she busted up laughing. She's soooo cute.... Such a sweet little darling girl!

anyways, I only got about 5hrs of sleep last night and am fading fast so I'm going to head to bed... I hope you all had wonderful SuperBowl parties and I can't wait to celebrate with you next year. I realized that while I don't know much about football, I love dressing up, making food, and hosting the parties. Good times, good memories...

ami tomake bhalobashi

of busy days and electrocutions

I love Elliot. She did her absolute best to make my birthday amazing. She put up the big HAPPY BIRTHDAY banner, made me a tinfoil crown, and a beautiful card. She even got together with Mrs.Waid and had the Handicrafts women embroider a t-shirt for me of my favourite design (it was on a set of tea towels but they were able to put it on a t-shirt--it's adorable!).

Honestly, one of the best parts was having an extra 14hrs of birthday. I mean, it was my 21st right? I've earned it :) lol I couldn't believe how many people wrote emails, messages, and comments! Man, I should leave home more often--just kidding Mom! lol So thank-you to everyone who wrote me because it really made me feel loved!

Also to Brianna, Lizzy, Catie, G&G White, and WallaWalla thank-you for your packages and cards! I've eaten most of the chocolate and ALL of Catie's English Toffee almond roca... Mmm it was absolutely delicious. I can't wait to see you guys again!

Since I made my list of things to do, I have been so crazy busy. I teach in the mornings longer than usual (Mrs.Waid extended English class so the kids can get as much as they can before we all leave) and then we have afternoon classes as well. Elliot and I are setting up art packs so that they can continue art class even after we are gone. We are cutting out fish to be coloured and tied to pieces of twine ("Let's Go Fishin' "), eggs to be decorated at Easter, and tracing vases on construction paper to be coloured and then rice and seeds glued on as flowers. It's pretty intense coming up with ideas but we are padding the schedule with Play Doh days and watercolour painting. We are just trying to come up with one BIG project per month.

I'm also trying to spend more time with the kids, playing, reading stories, and just holding them. I've been so tired the past months that I usually retreat to my room to rest before the next Handicrafts or storage room attack. But in my last couple months, I want to do better!

Funny Story though: last night I was charging my computer in our spare room. I was using Ryan's small adapter because my big voltage adapter hasn't been working lately for some reason. I was taking it back to him but when I pulled it off the wall, the plastic casing came off but I didn't realize the inside and front panel were still attached to the socket. I brought the casing back to Ryan, then had to come back for the rest. Not even stopping for a SECOND to think about it, I reached out and grabbed the METAL prongs still attached to the 220volt outlet. Not the smartest thing I've ever done! I didn't burn my hand but my whole arm was jolted back to life. My goodness... lol I can just see Dad shaking his head at me, incredulous that his OWN DAUGHTER did that.. Sorry Dad--I know I'm an electrical disappointment lol :)

tis all for now, nothing that incredibly interesting has been going on... Thanks again for the birthday wishes,
ami tomake bhalobashi

of 21 and new beginnings

It is now 1:01am on February 1, 2010 here in Bangladesh (don't ask me why I'm up so late...). Nonetheless, I'm 21!! How absolutely crazy is that to believe... 21 years old. My goodness, how time seems to fly. What do I really want for my birthday... hmmm. As I look at the frightful state of my hair (considering I haven't had it cut since I've been here), I know I could use a haircut from Ashlee Londo at MisBeehaven in WallaWalla with a BIG slice of potatoe pizza from Sweet Basil to follow it (my tummy's a-rumbling). But I know that dream will have to be put on the backburner for a couple more months.. Thus I am happy knowing Elliot and I got massages in Nepal and I will hopefully be getting to travel for a couple weeks with Dad at the end of my mission experience.

This week was a hard week. I avoided blogging because I didn't want to blast my life all around like a tabloid newspaper (too bad Facebook did it for me :P). My boyfriend and I broke up this last week and it really hit me hard. It's been as if I was caught between waves of emotion and logic, just struggling to keep my head above the water in order to breathe, but God managed to turn my pain into something more. As I was curled up in bed, Elliot gave me the book Captivating to read. Captivating, written by John and Stasi Eldredge, is the female version of Wild at Heart and is an incredible read! 200pgs in less than 5days. Yes, that incredible. It speaks to the heart of a woman: who God created her to be and His plan for her in the world.

Reading Captivating really brought me to a place of realizing how much I want God to be my Romancer, my Lover. This is what my next year will be known as: The Year I Truely Fell in Love with God. I want to learn to find my value and my self-worth through God, to seek an intimate relationship with my Creator. "A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek Him first in order to find her." This is my mantra, my goal to be attained before pursuing a relationship with someone.

While talking with my dad about travel plans, I realized I have just under 8weeks left here. Wow. That is just plain crazy. I remember the first week in October thinking the time would drag by. It did at points and screamed by other times. In order to make the most out of my time left here and not float through these last 8weeks, I've written a list of goals--things that I want to do so that when I leave here, I have no regrets. And yes, I've been praying for motivation and courage to do some of the things I've just been too scared to do. I'll show you my checked off list when I get home if you take the time to ask :)

First things first: get some sleep.
ami tomake bhalobashi